Never let your children think that other things like your work or your gadgets are more important to you than they are. Could you drop the phone, look away from your laptop and ensure you maintain eye contact when you are speaking with your children? If you are unable to give your full attention for a good reason, please explain this to them and give them a time to come speak with you. Please listen actively when they speak and restrain yourself from being judgemental.

Being the right leader to your children.

Are you a boss or a leader? I read a meme that says that a boss says ‘go’ while the leader says ‘let’s go’. Parents should provide leadership to their children. A leader guides and supports. As a parent, your children require certain levels of responsibilities and liberties at different stages in their lives. Be that parent that leads by providing guidance (showing them what they need to do, how they need to do it, and monitoring what they do till they get it right). Toddlers and younger children will surely need higher levels of control. However, one thing that will always make the difference is getting your children to understand the ‘why’ behind your actions and instructions. Do not be the parent that tells children to do something, just because you said so.

What you model

The second pillar you need to have as a prevailing parent is what you model to your children. The parent is the child’s first role model. Have you observed that there are a lot of things you do as an adult which you picked up unconsciously from your parents? They might not have sat you down to teach you, but by watching them, you unconsciously learned. So it is with your children. Children learn more from what you do than what you say. Apart from who you are and what you say, you need to be proactive about modeling the right lifestyle to your children. Please be the parent that matches her words with her actions. If you think your child spends too much time with gadgets, chances are that you spend as much time with gadgets yourself. If you want your child to cultivate a deep relationship with God, treat people around them right, or respect their spouses in the future, model it!