My husband and I once attended a wedding and the officiating Pastor did something that touched me. He publicly thanked the parents for what they had done thus far asking everyone to stand and clap and honor them, and he proceeded to publicly telling them that their own is finished now, telling the parents of the groom that the man is now leaving father and mother to cling to his wife and they must respect this, and telling the bride’s parents that her husband is now her head and it is over.

He gave them their boundaries during his sermon and told them God will judge them if they cross these boundaries because heaven and the church bear witness to what they were told. There was silence in the church as the reality of what he said gripped everyone. And he asked the couple to take their individual candles and light their unity candle. They did and then he asked them to blow out their individual candles now that they have one unity candle together. He then asked them to protect the light and flame on their candle while fighting off anything that tries to blow it out. He deliberately fought hard and tried coming in-between them to blow away the candle. But they held firm and protected their flame whilst locking their bodies and pushing him away from all attempts at blowing out the candle. He reminded all couples that this is how it is supposed to be. You don’t shine on your own again. You both light your own flame and shine together and you both fight all external forces from coming to blow that away.