Gradually, I found solace in drugs, clubbing, and got more involved in same-sex. I was a sex addict. It was no longer the girls but the guys too, bisexuals, having threesomes. I could not bear looking at the mirror, it took me back to where I wanted to come out from. It reminded me I was dirty, unkempt, broken, and worthless. A girl of my age who was already exposed to such a lifestyle had nothing left to pick up but just remain worthless till I die. The most painful part of it was that I had no one to talk to except myself. Not until I met Abraham, my savior package.

We attended the same church where he was a drummer, and I went there every day not knowing what I wanted but still I went. We connected immediately we met. Love was good but I didn’t feel what love was all I can remember is that we connected in a way that I cannot explain. Abraham was just that cool dude who stuck with me even when he knew my true personality. Loving me was hard cos I didn’t know what it meant to love, yes, I never felt love. The only language I understood was brutality, pain, illicit sex, and hurt. I couldn’t give him what he wanted but he still loved me. That was the beginning of God’s undiluted love for me. He ignored my shortcomings and later along the line he proposed. I accepted it. I needed an escape route to a better life.

Being married to Abraham was not close to what I expected. I dreamt of a life of ease but NO. We tried severally to make it work but each time it ended in domestic violence which landed one of us in the hospital with several bruises, yet on Sundays, we ended up in Church again. Gradually, my marriage was no longer beneficial to me. I went back to drugs and this became so bad that I needed to go to rehab due to drug overdose in my living room. My husband took me to the hospital, and he prayed, played drums, prayed over me at night, reached out to our support team and stayed patient with me, and trusted that God’s word would work over my life. Some of the scriptures that helped us were the following:

Ephesians 4.23: to be made new in the attitude of your minds; (Ephesians 4:23|NIV)

Ecclesiastes 4:13: Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12|NIV)