At that time, I was depressed, significantly overweight, exhausted, unhappy. Then my Pastor preached about the Israelites and he explained that one of the reasons God was so angry at Pharoah was because he wouldn’t let the Israelites go and worship him. I don’t think my Pastor would have ever imagined that that word would resonate with me the way it did, but I felt it in my spirit. I could not be the person, the child of God that God needs me to be if I stayed in that marriage.
Before that, I had prayed all kinds of prayers, cried a lot, begged a lot, tried everything I could, even therapy which he declined at some point. I know it may not seem rational, but I was also convinced he was trying to kill me or make me go insane. So eventually after another bad incident, I asked him to leave. I couldn’t take it anymore. He left, but that was all he did, left. He left me to cater for the children by myself. Till today, he contributes as he calls it, “the little he can do”, send a child support check which the government makes him pay, and it’s nothing to write home about.
To him, I guess that should teach me, to me, that is another life expectancy shattered. But you know what, God has been good through it all.
Through a bad marriage, I always had family and friends who loved and supported me. Through a bad marriage, I completed 2 Master’s degree programs and 2 post-master’s certificate programs. I started my doctorate and eventually earned my doctorate. I have been promoted, my career is going in a good direction, my children are healthy and flourishing. On my income, I can cover shelter, food and clothing, and other needs on Maslow’s pyramid. Not only that, my children are well cared for, they have coverage and a mummy that is healthy emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically to care for them.
