To add to my already growing mountain of issues, my home life was marred with familial issues that did not provide the type of coverage a young girl like me would have needed. But I do have to stop here to say that in all of these things, even though I would have expected and loved my life to be different, to be simpler, no rape, no molestation, no issues, I can see now that God was there. “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” Isaiah 43.2.
Somehow, God kept me, when all these things were happening to me, I was still doing well in school, I was still navigating life at home and life with friends, even after a major friendship betrayal. God gave me the strength to keep moving, to suppress the memories perhaps, not sure. But one thing I know, God shielded me from the negative impacts that those experiences could have had on my life. He also gave me a loving family that helped me through life. So I left Nigeria for the United States after my secondary education.
About a year after I finished college, I met my ex-husband. He was so nice in the beginning, so loving. He asked me to marry him, I loved him, so I agreed. I expected to spend the rest of my life with him. I expected to have our 6 children, love them, raise them, and watch them grow (We only had 4 children). That is what I expected out of life, I had been through a lot already, I deserved a good life, I am a good person, loving, kind, friendly, and a lover of God. I have my issues, but I made every effort to be the best I could be, the best mum, best wife, best sister, best friend. If that meant working 2 or 3 jobs to make sure our family was provided for, since my ex-husband was allergic to work, I did. That last one was my poor attempt at a joke. If that meant giving my ex my debit card and having him be in charge of our finances so that he could serve as head of the family, I did. If that meant neglecting my needs so that the needs of others would be met, I did.
