Another full disclosure, my intent for writing this is to share how God’s love is a constant and how God’s plan for our lives can be bigger than what we planned or imagined our lives to be. At a women’s conference hosted by my church in 2017, I had a healing experience. It was an intense moment where I came under the power of the Holy Spirit and experienced a release and cleansing from something I had been holding on to.

In 2014, I was officially separated from my husband, in 2016, my divorce became final. Before my separation and subsequent divorce, I attributed my anger and bitterness to the emotional abuse I endured at the hands of my ex-husband. Little did I know that I was suffering from much more than that. So on that evening in the hall of a local resort during the conference, the Holy Spirit took me back to a memory I had suppressed and repressed for years. The sexual molestation I endured at the hands of an uncle.

I must have been about 6 years old, or maybe a little older. I remember him coming into the darkroom I slept with others. This one particular night, his wife came out with a lamp and started looking for him and that is how he left me that night. Throughout my childhood, I can recall episodes of cousins, relatives, and family friends who touched me inappropriately. My body was like meat at the butcher’s table, for fondling and touching. Maybe it was because I was warm, friendly, nice. I seemed to be a target for those looking to take advantage. Not only that but I was also raped at a young age by a boyfriend. He knew I was not ready, I told him I wasn’t. I did believe that I would wait for my husband. But he took it by force, no matter how hard I begged, screamed, or pleaded. It didn’t matter that I said “NO” multiple times. He knew what he wanted and he didn’t stop till he got it. After that, I was angry, mostly at myself. So you can see, the expectations of my life were not how it was unfolding.