A few weeks ago I was having a heart-to-heart with my brother Philippe.

He and his lovely Welsh wife have just delivered their first child after 8 years of marriage. I was sharing with him how marriage has been hard for some of my Prevailers who are waiting to have their children too. Culture (especially the African culture) puts so much pressure on young couples and this doesn’t help. This was never a problem for my brother and wife because in those 8 years none of us ever asked questions (it was not our business or place and we respected boundaries). My brother maintained a high level of protective privacy for him and his wife throughout, all whilst going forward with their life fulfilling all that they had in mind to do, and being an active part of their local church where they were supported by their pastors.

In the course of our discussion, I shared with him the personal painful stories of some of my Prevailers, and he told me that helping the women is a good thing, but that the husbands also need to be encouraged via their men’s ministry, a safe place for men to gather and talk man to man on their emotions and struggles. Because if the men stand up in their position, a lot of wives will not be exposed and hurt. He shared with me how he went on such Christian men’s ministry retreats in the UK and how it was so much fun with sports activities, men bringing their friends and hobby kits, growing, and having a good time together in fellowship.

I took time to ponder and pray over this, and suddenly the husbands began coming one after another, desiring mentorship and help to overcome difficult situations. A lot are experiencing difficult situations that are sometimes spiritual, and they come with their wives at times to understand.