I kept on refusing until one day he forced himself on me (kind of rape), but I could not tell anyone since he was my boyfriend, and no one would believe me. Especially because he was a Pastor.
He therefore took my virginity, and we began having sex from then on.
Now after introducing sex in our relationship, I noticed that everything we were doing was sex, there was nothing like building each other up. Our spiritual lives went back to zero. I could feel the gap between me and Jesus. I could feel dissatisfaction of God’s presence in my life, it wasn’t there. I stopped going to church every Sunday, I started skipping Church because I use to feel like I wasn’t myself.
This really hit me so hard as I have always wanted to serve God all my life, I knew I could sing and serve God with my voice but I couldn’t do it and now the man that I believed would be my husband and with whom I would serve God with was not helping me build up my life in anyway. I felt like I was just sinking in sin and not going up in God.
I began feeling guilty, so I decided to break up with him.